Slow-Mo-Lester
Slow-Mo-Lester is a slow entity in the D4NK Universe. He is a middle aged man who seems to do everything very slowly, while also slowly narrating what it is he is currently doing. History Born in Northwood, North Dakota, Lester was a very slow child; he was slow when it came to eating, walking, running, writing, talking, and pretty much everything. His parents did their best to raise him as normally as possible, but he was simply too slow to get anything meaningful done. After slowly graduating high school, he slowly looked for a job. After a while of slowly searching, he eventually found the perfect job: Coach for the Cross-Country team at Northwood High School. As it turns out, the coaches don't have to run at all, so the job was perfect for Lester. After spending a few years watching high school kids running in circles, something strange happened to Lester's mental health. As it turns out, his mentality for age preference of lovers was slowed down too. As a result, he became a slow molester, and began slowly chasing the children across the cross country track. Of course, he could not catch them, and in fact, the children were simply confused as to why Lester appeared to be simply standing in the middle of the track posed as a runner, slowly talking about making love to people. Shortly after, Lester was fired, not because he was trying to molest the children, but because he wasn't sitting down in the coach's seat like he was supposed to. Now without a job and strange sexual preferences, he decided to wander around aimlessly across the United States, attempting to slowly molest pretty much anyone he saw, while also slowly narrating his actions, sometimes without even completing said actions in the first place. Over the years, Lester has gained quite the criminal record, however, he has not been convicted for molestation once. Lester has yet to fully successfully molest anyone due to his slowness, however, he has performed various traffic violations due to his slow driving speed, as well as various other misdemeanors, usually because of his slowness. Relationships Lester is seen as nothing more than a minor annoyance to most people, despite his highly nefarious intentions. His process of molestation is in fact so slow, that his victims aren't even aware of what Lester is attempting to do, and either get bored and leave before any harm is done, or get interrupted by something more important. He does not get arrested for his actions, as the local law don't think it is all that important to waste a cell on this generally harmless individual. Weapons, Powers, and Abilities Excluding his slow speed, Lester is pretty much your average Joe. He will for whatever reason also narrate his actions, often times not even performing his narrated actions. Trivia * Lester is a RED Soldier for Team Fortress 2 with the following items equipped. ** The Spook Specs (Paint Color: Muskelmannbraun) ** Antarctic Parka ** The Mutton Mann * Lester's name is a play on words between "Slow-Mo," referring to Lester's slow speed, and "Molester," Lester's main occupation. * Lester is pretty good at bass fishing. Quotes "I slowly walk up to you." "I slowly pull down your trousers." "I slowly chase after you."Category:Character